Most religious quotes I read I find a bit of peace and calm…. For me I believe social media has been a way to send a message of hope to someone. In living a life where you have felt defeated you find yourself trying to find understanding in some of the messages that tug at your heart and in many cases you find the reminder that God is Love and that God loves you. While many of these messages have given me hope I also believe that they are not all quite what God intended. Trust me I am the last to raise my hand with the right answer in any room full of people but sometimes there are messages that haunt me and leave me with a feeling of being defeated. While struggling with Grant’s addiction I had faith that God would heal, strengthen and cure this disease. I read quotes that lead me to believe that Grant was strong and brave and he wouldn’t be given this fight unless he was able to overcome. I had faith. I prayed hard. I believed and had hope. Just as Grant had faith…
I don’t think anyone had more faith than Grant. As much heart ache, shame and many days of feeling defeated he may have endured he always had hope. I remember the day and the very place (the corner of Hanson and 10) where those ocean blue eyes looked into mine. For those who knew Grant knew he always looked you in the eyes when he was serious about something and shame didn’t change that. We were at a stop light and he looked over at me and said “the only thing that’s going to get me through this hell is God.”
I will be the first to admit that I struggle with a lot of these messages that promise us hope. It took me a long time to truly understand that God does not give us pain. He does not intend for us to struggle. He does not want us to suffer. I don’t believe God took Grants life. I don’t believe God struck him with addiction. I don’t believe God intended for him to fight and suffer. My God, the God that Grant fell on his knees to repeatedly was a loving and compassionate God. Grant’s God didn’t give him this battle to fight… earth gave Grant this battle to fight. Grant’s battle on this earth is no more or less shameful than the sins we hide in our closets. We all have a fight to fight, maybe a different, less publicized one, but in the end we all stand before God without scrolls of shame and sins, but to open arms because we knew Christ and we believed.
I don’t even want to start on some of these messages because I could go on for hours about how these had given me hope at a time in my life and then disappointed me when I thought God had let me down. I misunderstood the message or they weren’t written to be perfectly clear on what they really meant. My take-away on these is this: God is Love. He loves us. He loves us! He LOVES US… he doesn’t cause or give pain; he is not cruel and mean. He doesn’t ignore prayers because you just happen to be able to handle the tough stuff. Our earth is evil, Satan has caused sin to be powerful within this world. The world is full of disease, sadness, despair, burdens and grief. There is hope…. Eternal life. There is a day where we will no longer suffer. Trust in Him and remember he loves us. This earth will give us more than we can handle, those are the moments we must turn to God.