Happy Birthday Grantie

Grant never had enough time on this earth to celebrate his 26th birthday but for our family July 8th will forever be just as, if not more, important a day to celebrate. Perhaps the act is selfish on our parts, but to many of us it is the grieving process. We release lanterns, led balloons and yes had a cake with 26 candles flaming away which the kids were excited to blow out in Grant’s honor. Friends and family came and went over the weekend celebration of Grant’s life on earth, most who knew Grant and some that did not or were too young to remember. Something a little child said made me take a step back and think. She innocently asked “who’s birthday is it?” When the other children said “its Grant’s birthday” I saw her look at her father and say “but I thought Grant died…” My heart melted and I could only have gentle compassion because it is hard for the old to understand our ways much less someone so young. For me it’s more comfortable to speak of Grant as if he is in a better place. Whatever I want to fantasize heaven is like at the time and the moment. Sometimes I do tell myself the dreadful words “Grant died” or worse yet “Grant’s dead” because over two years later I still can’t believe it could be true… because to me he is still alive. I know he is not on earth but in my heart, in my memories, he is forever alive, just in a better place. I don’t know how others celebrate birthdays of loved ones lost but for me I will always celebrate Grant’s Birthday no less than when he was here on earth to blow out his own candles. To me July 8th will forever be the day I celebrate the birth of our son, brother, uncle, and friend. July 8th is our day to celebrate a life that has forever changed us. 26 years ago I held in my arms but forever in my heart… I Love you Grantie…I love you so much, Mama

 

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