Christmas Letter to Grantie

 Click to view Christmas Letter Video…

Christmas Letter Video

My Dearest Grantie,

I hope heaven finds you well. Dad and I are doing well, your beautiful sisters too; As good aes we can…

Your nieces and nephews are the delight of my life, when I see the twinkle through the laughter they share with me. I always know you’re up there admiring them.

I know the detail of your smile, off to the side of your face, smirking as your sisters scold them.

I hear you asking the boys if they’ve found that special girl yet, all G’d up from the feet-up…

I see you tenderly wipe the tears from the faces of your favorite lil girls.

 It’s these moments I’ve captured and sealed in my heart…

This is how I know, how I really really know… you never left me.

Your every gesture, your every beautiful bit has been encapsulated in my very living heart that will beat for both of us till the day mine too, goes to rest, and I finally, finally hold you again…

For those who have loss a child and wonder how life will ever go on… that’s how…

My boy lives through me every minute, of every day…

Growing up I’d remind Grant – Do me proud today – now it’s me asking at the end of the day, Grantman, did I do you proud?

On my desk… your pictures still remain just as they were when you left us… Because, you’re forever my child

At home your beautiful brown shoes remain in the same spot you left them… because, they make me feel you’re still home.

Your closet remains full of your clothes, not because you need them, but because I do… because for even a moment I can rest my face in a piece of your fabric, inhale… and for a second smell your physical presence.

I’m not the same person you once knew… I’m a better person.

I care better for others… for both of us.

I look at the shimmering stars in the sky, admiring the between… for both of us.

I’ll walk my journey finding compassion for the weak… for both of us.

I look for the good in the fancy, as well as the begging soul on a corner… for both of us.

I’m sure if heaven has a mail box of thoughts, love and conversations yours is full every day.

I miss you more than any kind of loss…

As time continues to pass I’ve found a different loving relationship with you that helps me fill the absence of you in a different way.

The terror that cut through my heart the first years on earth without you… have softened…

The overwhelming fears I had of losing your physical presence the day God took you home…

Have little by little been calmed by your beautiful tender memories…

In our quite moments together I can finally hear your voice again; I can close my eyes and see your smile…

When grief overwhelms me I can wrap my arms around myself and feel you breathe life back into me.

In these moments… you remain alive.

Merry Christmas Grantie,

Mama

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Categories: Uncategorized | 2 Comments

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2 thoughts on “Christmas Letter to Grantie

  1. Brian Sweet

    Oh my. Here I sit on Christmas Eve, in my own head, looking back at what I was considering ‘better times’. And then I read your beautiful words. The grace in those words have touched me. Thank you. My heart is more full because of you tonight.

  2. Marla

    Beautiful and touching!! Merry Christmas Kim and family!

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